hey hey hey,
i've been back for a near 2 daes already,
ha goin back to my land of despair later tonight..

newae happenings the past week...
ha come to think of it nothin much happened this week,
the only interestin thing WAS....
FIELD CAMP!
ha...

totally,
havin not able to bathe a for a good 7 daes was no mean feat,
besides not bathin was not eatin..
haha..
i just didnt have the appetite,
i didnt noe if it was good or bad,
but what the HECK i survived it...

ha...
i shant go into deep detail of the happenings of field camp,
whatever for?
but i shall brief on how i felt over this week....

ha its indeed tt field camp really shows the true person inside,
i dunno but through this field camp,
reallly showed me who were the frens,
whom would always be there for each other in times of need,
from simple details like fillin bottles to diggin of trenches...
ha i dunno but at the start of field camp,
i felt lost and down,
firstly i didnt have the appetite to eat,
and also i didnt fel too good,
ha...
it left me feelin real real lost,
i was always deep in thought in the world of my own,
not knowin what was happenin around me...
i begun to think and think,
ha all the nonsence and crap came to me...
i dunno...
ha.. im crazy...

a fren in need isnt a fren indeed....
this line came to me durin field camp...
ha i dunno but it jsut popped up into my mind...
i begin to cherish tht efrens tt were around me out of army even more,
i felt really lost at night when no one was there,
even to go to the toilet...
haha btu its really creepy at night..
luckily i had this fren who was the REAL fren i had,
he was always there through out the whole camp,
he was the only one i could rely on throughout the whole field camp...
he was always there to go to the toilet with me...
haha always there to takre care of me throughout the camp....
havin known i had no appetite he was always forcin me to eat...
haha...
i didnt anyhow thought he would have been the one,
the one tt would stand by me throughout field camp..
ha but those whom i thought would have been there wasnt...
there were always excuses when i need company,
it was only till the last few daes tt would accompany me...
ha ironic...
i think im such a failure...
what a loser...

sigh...
through this camp,
the sacrifices i made were huge...
the frens who were really there for me throughout,
would have known how i flet durin the first half of the camp.
durin the camp,
i made sacrifices fer ppl who didnt even appreciate it,
ha i really felt dumb,
doin so much fer ppl but wall i got back wasnt even thanx...
where was i?!
was it a must fer me to do so?
ha..
im just dumb...

this was exactly how i felt throughout the camp...
lsot and in despair but had no one to turn to...
durin meals...
i didnt dare to sit down,
ha ocs i wasnt eatin and i didnt want anyone to know,
but anyone knew?!
no...
haha....
all i did was to walk around and act...
ha but i guessed no one realised...
i always silently left hte crowd back to my own barsha,
and lead the life of my own world...
ha i totally felt like a loser...

sigh newae,
i dunno maybe the frens i thought were great,
werent as great as i thought..
but honestly field camp was thetime were all the horns and all popped out..
ha...
btw...
somehow one way or anoother...
nothign seems to have changed..
ha i dunno...

newae gtg now,
im tired dont even get wad im sayin needa go rearrnage my thoughts...
ha the remainin weeks of army willl be fruitful,
i hope...

huan nan jian zhen qin....

ha....




hey ppl back yesterday goin back tonight,
haha..
totally crazy...
field camp is tmr,
wish me luck ppl...

ha fell sick yesterdae i guess due to the lack of sleep,
many things had happened over the week,
ok apart from tt im fine now,
but just tt the cough is still there...
and the nose not to forget..

it was a rather fast week at tekong,
started the week off really bad,
screwin up at everything i did.
the throat was killin me...
causin me to wake up havin a really bad bad nose...
yeap...
it got better in the middle of the week...
however the headaches and fever came...
ha but im feelin fine now...
hopin i would be perfectly normal,
and fightin fit for field camp...
woo hooo hope its gonna be FUN!!~?
haha... got to start packin my stuff soon...
ha wonderin how am i supposed to bring so much stuff?!
ah crazy...

newae ok i shall stop thinkin bout army for now,
till i board the bus later...
yeap...

ok the plans i have for todae...
SHIT its settlin the field camp stuff...
hahaha back to normal...
its crazy..
seee how much influence the amry can have on u?

newae oh yah back to the story,
on the poor fren on tekong...
p.s why hasnt anyone said anything about it?!
newae things got a little better,
he suppose so....
he probably feels so stressed up,
and everythin was off his mind,
as he had much more impt tasks at hand...
hence he had in mind was how to handle this things....
he was a much nervous freako,
unable to handle pressure at "right" times
ha yeap...
but with all tt support he could get,
he managed to handle it just right,
and now its all over,
he has passed it on to another person,
back as a norm soldier...
ok besides tt...
this he doesnt noe why there wasnt much communication between botht of them,
they were both tired and all,
so there wasnt much talk cos at night,
now it was just sleep...
ha yeap.
nvm hes gettin used to it,
its not as if its new haha...
but he noes things can be better...
hes now not over-relyin on him,
tt maybe a better thing,
as he is now buildin better frenships with others,
ha another thing tt he realised tt he observed over the week,
tt * ( from the last post) had a fren called # whom he knew from the past,
and now #, whom * knew,
seems to be angry with him...
ahhhhhh...
he dunno why...
is it because hes like "snatchin" away his fren??
he dunno if he is, hes really sorry..
he doesnt noe wad to say...
he just realised it like a few days ago...
sigh....
its just so difficult to handle such things...
y must life be so complicated?!

newae over the week, few has been askin him,
why is he and * so close?
honestly he doesnt noe y either,
its just tt he feels exceptionally close to him,
haha weird..
to him, * will be his BEST buddy...
always...

haha newae gtg now...
get prepared to book in tonight..
and field camp tmr...
haha if anyone reads this help this poor guy PLS!!!
ha...
help...




im back all lonely and bored,
everyone is out besides me all alone at home.

first,
its the first week of BMT in tekong,
its been a hectic week.
im all tired,
ppl change,
it has been a eratic week...

here goes,
there was this young lad,
who had to do something proud off,
goin on to a deserted island,
all alone,
out of the blue,
soemone appears to him helpin him along the way,
call him *
some what or another,
it doesnt seem soon after the days pass,
the tiring missions causes the change in ppl,
he hope so.
it seems to him tt wad he thought is not happening,
to him he had found a great buddy whom he could trust and rely on,
but soon it didnt seem so to him...
it was the exact opposite,
although he tries hard to work together,
it backfires,
the distance between them seemed to be further and further away,
during their missions,
they do not have any interaction at all,
only when the sun falls,
they begin to come into contact.
thigns shouldnt be this way,
but he does not know why either.
neither does he noe wad he shld do...
it seems tt probably its a one sided thing,
he is confused,
it seems tt * has more contact with others then with him,
everything is only made known to him
through the mouths of others,
and not to him personally...
he does not know why,
wad went wrong?
he tried everything he could,
does the problem lie in him?
everyday, he ponders wad are true frens?
he is really unsure of this supposedly great friendship...
what is happening?
he really hopes this friendship would last...
but to * its only something tt lasts on the island,
out of the island,
its seperate ways...
he really hopes it would last,
but to *, he probably thinks otherwise...
someone tell him wad shld he do...
wad can be done to savage this?
anyway theres nothing much tt he can do,
it takes two hands to clap,
no matter how much he tries if the other hand does not reach out,
it wont make a difference...
what can be done to help this poor man here...
he tried his best...
does friendship limit to boundaries?
is it also possible tt friendship can last even if theres no interaction?
what defines close friends?
whenever he is feelin down and out,
theres always no source to release it out.
maybe its just not him to speak up...
i dunno..
these questions have been stormin through his mind over the week,
finally he is able to let it all out,
now he patiently waits for the answer..
when will it be?
was it wishful thinkin?

really tired now from all tt thinking now,
ha gtg now,
BYE ppl remember help save the poor soul...
give him ways to change the pathetic outcome...

newae todae was my bookout,
ha went home slept till round 1630h then rushed down to beach road,
to do some shoppin fer fieldcamp,
met a few others,
went ahead bought all tt was needed, only to realise tt it was already 1900..
haha, then all had their own plans leavin me there all alone lost..
haha rather it seemed for long i have not felt like there was no where to head...
sadly decided to go home..
ha one of them asked me to join them take a walk but with his fren whom i nv knew,
wouldnt it be weird?
personally i think it is...
it would be so awkward like an EXTRA hangin around...
i hate to be left out..
ha but these few days i am....
no one is out,
everyone is on an island...

ha..
tts it gtg now...
haha i may sound a little weird or anythin negative,
i think im just tired,
btu i had to get it offf me somehow...




hey ppl,
first and foremost HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

haha just came back from town,
went there to join in the fun,
ha it was a total public display of racism.
it was continuous fighting till we got out of the mess...
overall it was fun...
its 0500h now...
haha just came home,
showered so now decided to blog..

sigh,
2004 may not have been the best year of my life,
but some how it has left an impact in me...
now im hopin tt 2005 would be a fruitful one for me...
hmmm,
ponderin on tt wouldnt be time spent fully on army?!
haha true...
newae speakin about army,
really hope it would be an eventful one,
tt would be etched deeply into me...

hmm apart from tt it has been nearly 3 daes since i booked out,
haha wad an acomplishment i watched 2 movies!!
kungfu hustle totally was a boo...
but meet the fockers was great,
watched it todae...
hah funny show.....
newae yah about todae 311204,
had some misunderstandin,
haha...
didnt really think tt u would even thought i would be angry,
haha i nv get angry fer more then a dae...
honestly but i wasnt angry just now...
it all happened as such,
it was a complete misunderstandin,
i had this fren who told me tt he had nothin on,
so ha the NICE me asked him if he wanted to join me and the rest,
but it was misunderstood and thought otherwise,
haha so i may have sounded a little annoyed,
when my kind intentions where overlooked...
but honestly i was fine...
haha hilarious...
newae bro,
im perfectly alright...
haha... hope u had FUN with ******!!
oh yah if u read this im sorry,
i didnt mean to...
sorry dude.

personally to me,
frens are like family out of home,
i think frens are real impt to me,
ppl who i can easily confide in and all....
ppl who can attack and retreat with me when im in need...
thanx all who has always been there,
when i needed help the most..
thanx...

read from a frens blog,
it quotes tt life is like a bus journey,
i think it is soo true....
on a bus journey ppl board and get off the bus,
just like in reality ppl walk in and out of ur life,
u nv noe when are they gonna alight and get off,
so why not cherish them?
rather then regrettin when it is too late?
on this bus journey,
i noe tt i would have to be the sole bus driver,
steerin the route along in which i would want to take upon.
no one can decide tt for me,
only myself...
although on this bus journey,
there may be accidents or minor hiccups,
it guides me along too,
helpin me learn from those mistakes,
not makin them again...
pickin up the broken pieces,
carryin on with the journey,
mendin it along the way,
pressing on with a nv say die attitude....
wow....
tt entry really enlightened me,
made me reflect on myself,
how true it is...
totally awed...
hmmm...

newae its gettin really really late....
im tired...
gtg for now....
oh yah ppl pls tag me keep the board goiN!!!
happy 2005....
take care all...