hey all,

wondering if any still reads my blog till date. been really lazy to update cos whenever i do its an hour long process with an excessive word flood. anyway thanks for visitin still.

just read a fren's ORD post which left me all teary eyed, made me decide to pen a few thoughts of my own. call me weak shit or whatever but no one would know how it feels, all i know deep in me things wouldnt be the same again.

just yesterday, a few of the closest frens i had in camp ORD-ed. i mean it wasnt easy to see them leave, i had to hold back my tears and seem happy for them as i didnt want to dampen their happy spirits on their "BIG" day. i felt their euphoric spirits as they walked up to get their long awaited ICs, being kaypo decided to join in and busk in their happy mood for a while but as they approached the office, a gush of different feelings overwhelmed me.

memories of the past came flashing back into me the moments we suffered, had fun seemed like it all just happened yesterday. I know deep in me things wouldnt happen the same way again as it did. i really miss those days where we all had to stay in where we all had fun when everything else happening outside seemed so foreign.
the OD days, till the warmups, through last 100s, into the sqaud shits, with polishing of boots into late at night happening so common that everyone knew that when the mess was filled with heavy kiwi smell and stains, that COG was round the corner. although the going was tough i always knew i could pull it through with all of u guys by my side. i wasnt alone. although there were times where there were heavy complains, we still manage to overcome everything with ease cos we knew no matter how hard we complain at the end we still had to bear all the shit. the proud moments when we landed salutes in perfect harmony with countless applause that nothing could equal to it now could only be found deep in my memories.

at times when i think back how shitty can it be havin to ORD a good 1 month later much tt i want to complain, on the tons of parades and duties that i have to mount but it seriously doesnt beat having to mount a GOH just 3 days before ORD i really have to salute u guys to tt. kudos. anyhow i only have myself to blame. but hopefully i wont get the same shit as u guys.

many a times when jokes on my ORD date seemed to be the highlight in a conversation, it seriously didnt matter to me. but now as it turns realistic, its beginning to affect me greatly. it may seem easy saying its nothing just a month more, but as a matter of fact it passes like forever, it aint easy having book in every morning to see nothing but open empty cupboards and sheet-less beds. having wake up after a short nap in the late morning to find the usual canteen buddies no longer there but now with only a little more than a handful to choose from. the usual hustle and bustle of the work day turns seemingly quiet and boring without the bunk to bunk visits. now having bump into someone on the corridors seems as difficult as me accomplishing the triple. the toilet seems as if like no one no longer visits them now with the dry washbasins and floors. the laundrette now seems redundant with the dryer running, wasting poor taxpayers money with nothing in it to dry except left behind clothings tt are dried till crisp and also AIR. seconds seems to be passing like hours in camp with no one to talk to except dwelling deeper into my pillow. but i know i have no one to blame for this except for myself.

the next couple of days would be yet another heart-wrenching one with more ppl coming back to collect their IC, saying their last goodbyes before heading out into the real world. all im left with are my poor buddies who suffers the most for our lack of drive in passin the much dreaded IPPT in the past, and also good and unforgettable memories of the days i have in the army both BMT n SAFPU now turn SAF MP command which all seemed like a month ago tt i first enlisted.

from BMTC 2 orion coy to POP to SAFPU to Basic SPDS course to NDP 05 to shit at MP Basic course to POP to OD phase to Advance SPDS course to SAF day 06 to NDP 06 to SAF MP command formation till i ORD. not forgetting the countless GOHes and duties involved. i'll like to thank one and all who have appeared and affected my life greatly in this seemingly short 2 yrs timeline. especially those who suffered greatly with me in SAFPU/SAFMPC and most importantly those in APC, we were just the unlucky batch havin to go through all the shit that i think no one had ever gone through in their stint.
thank you one and all. if not for everyone of u i wouldnt have been what i am inside and out today, be it good or bad. i have truly grown. i'll take this and remember this till the day i take my last breath and on.

sigh although im looking forward to my ORD but on the im carrying mixed feelings wondering how things will turn out at the end. tribunes and hurdles i'll have to cross en route to it but i know at the end of it all no matter what the outcome will be, GOD chose it for me to undertake, hopefully it'll all turn out well. im praying hard. i have no one to blame for except myself.

although in my heart i had wished that this wouldnt have ended or the end wouldnt have come. but i know it had to end somewhere. take care my BUDDIES, heres wishing u all the best for your upcoming endaevours. hopefully we'll get to meet up someday again and relieve the good old days we had.

take care one and all. love ya all. kudos.

PRIDE.DISCIPLINE.HONOUR.

SWIFT.SILENT.SHARP

p.s now u understand why i seldom blog. i can nv seem to stop...